Hey Guys and Girls of Skyrock! I know I haven't really been blogging on here lately, but today I'm gonna open up and make you feel really special cause this is EXCLUSIVELY for SR. Today I'm gonna talk about boys and shanice. A pretty Comical subject. Trust me. First off the last boyfriend i had.shouldn't even count. I dated him for a week. and in that entire week we went out..I dodged seeing him, ignored his phone calls, and never replied to any of his myspace messages. the boyfriend I had before that.. i hated him after like three weeks. Never spoke to him again..didn't really like him in the first place..i just dated him cause i wanted to make another guy jealous...(more like i wanted him to NOTICE me FIRST ..and THEN be jealous) So yeah... you can pretty much see that EVERY relationship i've had has been a disaster. I'm cursed i swear, i never DATE a guy i actually like. all my boyfriends have either asked me till i just gave up saying no, or I felt bad for them. as for all the guys i've actually LIKED well..my meathods of working are pretty much retarted. If shanice likes a boy..she stays as far away from him as possible. don't ask why it's a REFLEX. it happens automatically. I literally RUN AWAY. lol I usually like the guys i can't have, i don't know if i'm doing this on purpose. because i don't really want a relationship.( or am i just teling myself that?) ..seee that inner monolouge..it's too much. Anywho back to the subject. I don't ever make moves, it takes me like five years to figure out when someones flirting with me. No matter how much eye sex you make with me i will NOT say a word to you, till you say something to me. That's the way my mind works. I pretty much have a safe guard. So it first takes me like two or three years to actually ADMIT to myself that i like you. That paramore song "Love Sick Melody" the part where hayley sings " I never let love in so i could stop my heart from hurting, the longer that i live with this idea the more i sink in"that kind of explains half of what i'm talking about here. The more i try NOT to like someone..the more i do. I try to steer myself away from all of this but ..im sixteen, and straight..what do you expect of me? Sometimes i do let my guard down, and sometimes things do work out nicley. but they don't really last. Something just comes along to fuck it up. then three weeks after that i realize that i don;t know what the hell i saw in the guy. I can honestly say theres only TWO guys that i have liked for more than a few months. But then again it's on and off with them. I only like them when it's convenient. When their around.And still they have at least one or two things that i don't like about them. But it'll probably never work with either of them. so it's like ...whatever, im just wasting my time. I recently used to kind of consider a guy..but if you herd how that turned out you would LAUGH the hardest you've ever laughed in your life. I make myself complicted. The Perfect guy for me DOES NOT EXSIST. a long time ago i made a joke and said that my perfect guy is somewhere inside the lines of a twisted tim burton fairy tale. I'm picky, and I Don't settle for less ( i stopped that a while ago) I'm pretty much drained with all this worrying about "boys". I'm over it, really..I'll take what i got, and stick with it. it's pretty good anyway.